Sundays are boring (a rant about emails)

overflowing-mailboxIt’s Sunday. The last day of my four-day-weekend. It’s cold. I’m sitting wearing slippers and a sweatshirt as I finish my homework. I’m incredibly bored.

Just as I begin to think I understand my Physics homework, I find myself wondering: What the devil is N*s? So I decide to log on so I can get more information. Of course, once I’m connected, it comes to my attention that I have 40 emails needing to be sifted through.

Folks. Let me make this loud and clear. We don’t care about your lost cell phone. Seriously. I’m a nice person and all, but if and when I receive an email with the word “lost…” in it, I am instantly going to delete it. Pow. Done. 60% of the time it’s gonna be in your pocket anyway but you just forgot. Try checking there.

And it doesn’t help that people are using our e-mail server as a way to advertise. I mean seriously.

How many e-mails am I going to keep receiving that say “Fall athletes please read?” I’m not an athlete and neither is 70% of the school! Please, just make a list next time and spare us the effort needed to delete the email!

Okay, well let’s assume people need information in they are a prospective player. Well, if I were an athlete, and I really, really wanted to join the football team, I think I’d be motivated enough to go and try to find out information for myself. Not EVERYTHING needs to be spoon-fed to us, folks.

And that’s why I praise those staff members who actually only send e-mails about something to those people who are involved. I thank you all for actually taking the time to individually sort through the e-mail addresses of those people who are involved. It prevents some random person from getting their mailbox even further clogged. You are the few, the proud: The heroes. 😉

But it’s not even about sports most of the time. People just have to send emails around about some random club they’ve started. “Wanna join a really cool club?” “Here’s an awesome club for you to join!” “Interested in clubs?” “JOIN HARVESTERS!!!!!1111oneoneone” Again, if I were interested in clubs- which, frankly, I’m not- I would go and find out information about it myself.

And then there are those of us who simply have not realized the fact that being in a competitive school requires work. Instead, these bozos decide to use their time to send random, pointless and mostly profane e-mails out to everyone in the school, simply to annoy everyone else.

Ha ha. Laugh now, creep. You won’t be laughing when you receive your report card.

And then, when I go back to school, people always say “didn’t you get the e-mail? We were SUPPOSED to…”

No. After all that deleting I barely want to see another e-mail ever again in my life. I honor anyone who still has the courage to do so. A statue must be made in your honor. Seriously.

Now I’ve just spent 20 minutes writing an admittedly whiny blog entry and I still don’t know what N*s means. Hm.

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Developing Fabian

marxbrosBoy. It seems that my hardest homework assignment this weekend wasn’t a homework assignment at all. It was simply trying to develop my character, Fabian, in our upcoming production of Twelfth Night.

We’ve decided to set it in 1920’s Hollywood, and so obviously the characters of Toby, Andrew and Fabian are going to be highly influenced by the slapstick humor of comedians like The Marx Brothers and Charlie Chaplain.

So I looked into the stuff all morning, and even went and watched a Marx Brothers movie to try and pick up on the kind of humor used throughout. I went back and re-read all of my lines to try to get a better sense of Fabian’s identity, backround, and how exactly he could be adapted into a humorous character, which was the most important bit.

What I can identify about Fabian without elaborating is that he is a good friend of Sir Toby’s and likely has been involved with “shenanigans” with him and Andrew previously. He’s mad at Malvolio, though the reasons why are unlcear. My guess is that either Malvolio ruined any chances Fabian had with Olivia romantically, or that he used to have a solid job at Olivia’s household but Malvolio got him fired from it. Either would really work fine. Regarding his characteristics, while Toby is a drunkard and a glutton and Andrew is dimwitted and arrogant, Fabian seems to be the brightest of the bunch, analyzing the situations they’re in pretty thoroughly. However, this could be because he is uptight and/or a perfectionist.
From this I’ve developed three characters.

Fabian A:
Fabian-20A

This Fabian is your standard stereotypical 1920’s nerd. The type of guy you’d see working in a bank. Though intellectual, this guy is uptight, and is a bit of a perfectionist, evident through his constant shushing of Andrew and Toby in the letter scene. He used to work as an accountant for Olivia until Malvolio got him fired. Toby, however, saw beyond Fabian’s oddness and accepted him as a trustworthy friend. They’ve been buddies ever since. Despite his social problems, he is a kind, warm-hearted and humble man.

Fabian B:
Fabian-20B

One word describes this guy: crazed. This Fabian reminds me a bit of Gollum (or Vezon, for those who know what that means) in that he speaks in a high pitched, crazed voice. He has a tendency of being overly dramatic. He pronounces every word he says very clearly and precisely, to the point of sounding strange. He tends to intersperse maniacal laughter into his speech and constantly does something with his hands. When working on a plan, he tries to be precise and calculated to avoid any kind of error, as is evidenced when he warns Andrew and Fabian not to “break the sinews of [their] plot” in the letter scene. He used to work as an attendant to Olivia, but Malvolio did not approve of his behavior and got him fired. Now he’s eager to exact his revenge on him with Toby and Andrew’s help, though they admittedly find themselves a little frightened of his “demonic” behavior.

Fabian C:
Fabian-20C

This Fabian is a bit different. I’d say he’s a bit more…human than the other two. The idea came to me when I tried to imagine what a funny Jack Driscoll (King Kong) would be like. Moreover, he is inspired loosely by Groucho Marx. Like Groucho, he is very witty, but he uses his wit to ensure success in Andrew and Toby’s scheme rather than through humorous one-liners. He also shares Groucho’s affecion for cigars. He is laid-back, fun-loving and has a rather dry sense of humor. He stands up straight and tall and is known for his sometimes bizzare facial expressions and rather smug attitude. He is, in fact, a rather successful but currently out-of-work comedian, whose sense of humor makes him a big hit at parties, and unsurprisingly a good chum of Toby. Once, long ago, he tried to court Olivia, but Malvolio intervened.

Well, those are my three Fabians. I’m leaning towards Fabian C, because a lot can be done with him, but, at the same time, that’s the very problem- he’s not very developed yet. I’m sure he’s going to have some sort of unusual speaking pattern a little like Groucho’s, but I haven’t figured it out yet. It’s gonna require a lot more research and consideration before I can decide on a character to stay with.

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